IMG_0202_done_v3No I haven’t bothered to read the book and I don’t very often go and see films unless my filmmaker lover takes me to a premiere but I did bother to sit through this film and write this because of my deep connection to the subject matter; sex. I am slightly disappointed with the film, for the main reason that it failed in key ways, to use this opportunity to positively shift humanity’s views on sexuality, by showing sexuality as a powerful and sacred tool for transformation and evolution. Read below for the details. Despite my dissatisfaction, I am grateful for this film because it grants me the opportunity to have this conversation and be a sex movie critic! I would be fun to break down and critique the treatment of sex in any widely seen movie … so here is the first of many.

Spoiler alert! I might give some stuff away, so, only read on, if you’ve seen the film or don’t plan on seeing it.

These are some of the scenes that I wish could have shown more Mastery of Dominance.

When Anastasia, the female lead, told Christian, the dominant, that she was a virgin, the movie failed to positively express the need and responsibility for someone who is more “experienced” sexually, to educate the more vulnerable participant. This could have looked like “Ok, I understand this is your first time, and I need to communicate some essential information to you.” Such as “It’s always a good idea to ask your partner when was the last time she or he got tested for a sexually transmitted infection/disease (STIs). I got tested last month and my results were negative. Knowing that would you prefer if I use a condom or not?” After all, she was still not his submissive at this point and this would have been the most responsible, safest and honorable thing for the main character to do. This film has been sold out on Valentine’s weekend and had the power and opportunity, to educate the world about all the various shades of sexuality, including health and safety, and it failed.

Not only did it fail to cover an important and vital area but it also didn’t demonstrate how important it is for women to be properly aroused (especially involving a virgin!) The characters rushed into sex, which again sometimes there isn’t a need for an appetizer because all you’re craving is dessert. But I totally wasn’t aroused by Christian’s impulsive way of taking Anastasia’s virginity. It takes an average of 45 minutes to completely warm up a woman’s body, so she can reach infinite levels of full body orgasmic states. The main character failed to do that and once again, like we see in most films these days, the art of arousal was not a part of Anastasia’s first experience. Instead of having her receive a well deserved 45 minutes of warm up time, she received a total of 4 to 5 seconds!

Next scene, “I don’t make love. I fuck. I fuck hard.” Firstly, I love the spectrum of fucking and lovemaking. I believe “fucking and fucking hard,” can be an expression of lovemaking.  However, the way the line was delivered suggested the glorification of aggressive primal sex, on his behalf, and not enlightened sex, which may or may not include primitive sex too. It also suggested a separation between lovemaking and fucking, which is the kind of sex we are overly saturated with, in porn, rather than deep tantric connection and union. Secondly, sexuality is more than just “a specific way” of having sex. Sexuality is in a realm beyond just pain and/or pleasure; it is an infinite vehicle of transformation and evolution, within the spectrum of pain and pleasure.

Another scene I wasn’t comfortable with was when Christian talked about his birth mother, whom he said was a prostitute and a crack head. It all of a sudden gave a “bad” impression to a specific category of sex workers. I know a lot of women who are all types of sex workers and are in touch with their sexuality and are consciously sharing their gifts in this way, without shame. In the context of this film, Christian immediately indicated that being a prostitute is equivalent to being a crack whore. I mean, couldn’t his Mom just be a crack head and that be enough? Did the writer of the book and screenplay really need to make Christian’s mom a prostitute as well?

Also the depiction of dominance, in my opinion, was incomplete, inaccurate and not fully and powerfully played. I wanted Anastasia to say, “Yes master!” as her every response to Christian, and for Christian to demand it from her. I wanted more. I was hoping it would get better.

I also didn’t see the point at all in the last scene, when Christian showed his “Fifty shades of fucked up.” It was confusing and roles were not properly played; mainly because Anastasia, the submissive, asked to see his darkness. If the roles were played properly, it would be inappropriate for the submissive to request something like this. This resulted in the Dom being dominated by the Sub and as a result she wasn’t ready to receive his anger. This last scene in my opinion wasn’t played with BDSM integrity, which made it confusing and also abusive to her and to anyone new or experienced watching it.

Lastly, I also would have liked to have seen, the depth and intimate side of being a submissive or dominant. Since there was no real ending to the film, perhaps this will be in the sequel or the trilogy. It takes tremendous competence, and confidence to be masterfully dominant. For example, a more intimate way of dominating Anastasia, would have been to demand her to explain, while she was being whipped, what she was deciding to do as a career, having just graduated with a degree in English frickin’ Literature. It just wasn’t sophisticated enough for me. Perhaps I’ll need to wait to see the next films but I really hope the creators of these films, use this opportunity to dive deeper into their OWN SEXUALITY, to bring more depth to humanity. As a submissive to my own desires, I pray on my knees with masking tape over my mouth, blindfolded and bound, for this depth.

As a Dominatrix, I command the creators of this phenomenon and anyone interested, to come to my next Dakini Domme Knight Masquerade Event on Sunday, May 5th, to taste sacred intimacy through my domination.

Your Domme, iX-Chel

Edited by Darius Fisher

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